Her Clothes are Made of Rainbows

imherchicken @ 2005-03-21T23:36:00

2005-03-22T04:35:55Z

Such a silly assumption that a decision has already been made

because we all know that fairy tails don't come true- no matter how high you hold the stereo.

so listen while i tell you again that I'm not mad, and you again that I'm still in love, and you again that that was only one night, and you again that it can't happen again.

now all i can do is listen to lights that buzz up there and hope that one of you will know what to say.

imherchicken @ 2005-03-16T11:13:00

2005-03-16T10:14:27Z

My mom is getting married. woah.

We are out of cash money in amsterdam..in the mac store...using free internet.

Don't cry over spilled milk

2005-03-10T18:50:21Z

Emily spilled a lot of milk in to grocery store..I laughed so hard

I laugh when I talk and it's comforting. Things are great...mmmhmmm all the time...smiles and happy.

Polar's show last night..such pretty people. way to go guys...fantastic show.

I'm leaving today...I haven't so much thought about it but I think I am exited now..then I will go to CA...i have so much thought about that one. yes.

I listen to all three all the time...like now...breakdown..i love them

Now I must go to Europe..I'll be right back..in a jumpin' jack flash.

I finally recovered on Tuesday

2005-02-08T17:33:46Z

Don't run away
Don't chase after it

Let it run to the end
of your fingertips.

warm heart hurts

look in the mirror again

My tangelo has arrived

2005-02-08T00:48:46Z

woah I should not have done that. Ok. nope. shouldn't have.

i got lost this weekend. for 2.5 hours. sick.

i hit a little rock bottttttom yesterday and i was being mean and people got mad. im ok now.

my mom comes soon. that will be so fun.

bleh. you get me seriously out of my mind.

imherchicken @ 2005-01-31T15:52:00

2005-01-31T20:54:59Z

That was fun, a really fun time. That place will never be the same, I was so happy. SO HAPPY.

It's like a dream though and now I'm forced to be awake.

I spent yesterday being bummed. Emo and I ate dinner and paid a bill...we needed something to look forward to.

I spent today concentrating on being less bummed...I think it should be ok, though I still feel like throwing up.always.

It's only some months, and in the grand scheme of this silly ride, some months is only a few.

I'm almost done with my book but Annie wouldn't let me read it today while we were outside looking at bench boy.

I eat taffy now to stay awake...its so good but I will run out soon.

I almost have enough money for Peru, that will be a great time.

I'm going to be lost in books again today, some of them are great, and really I just need something productive to think about.

I know I know I know I want You

2005-01-18T16:31:37Z

Yo, so this is so not even cool anymore. My eyes are burning...I haven't slept in too long and I'm hungry but my boday doesn't want to eat. So instead I drink coffee listening to This Island with heavy darts...you're a mess....you're a mess....

I've learned a lot in the last little while...don't give up on the ones who matter.....tell the truth....don't fall asleep in S. Hem. sun....definately don't go to work at 5am...the day after you get back...without sleeping...It feels like I'm on a boat.

Friday will be legendary...for those of you who have not experienced the legend...just wait...Friday it will come. yes!

imherchicken @ 2004-12-29T17:50:00

2004-12-30T00:52:41Z

I swear I know at first sight...

Area 51 and sha sha sha shakin

"Drive safe" "You're beautiful"

And all over again on Thursday

Peter has no CD player..only a Gwen tape.

imherchicken @ 2004-12-21T12:33:00

2004-12-21T18:03:06Z

Last night:

Adam covered my head with a scarf and then I got snot on it.

Maybe they tricked us. It didn't matter though. I thought it was great.

Merry X-mas
Someone puked on my scarf
Love, Ned

It's hard to think that you might not be real.

I want to breathe you. You whispered. It was fantastic.

EMO!!

2004-12-13T00:56:43Z

Ok so this is a shout out...a shameless shout out to my roomate Emily Wadsworth...no that's not her last name...it's her middle name and I think it's great...better yet I think she's great. Yeah ok, she's a REPUBLICAN but not a real one and really we can't hold that against her cause now we have matching PJs. She likes to do homework but really she likes to cuddle with me an watch TLC which is something I guess not that many people should know. She says she really likes a clean kitchen even though I have done the dishes that past 8 million times but its ok cause she is happy about it when she comes home. She like to jam to techno a lot which is funny cause you would think she sould listen to..I don't know....Dido. But nope I mean these are hard core, ass pounding techno beats, hot jams. Sometimes she looks at me when I am going to bed cause we are both on the top bunk but its not in a pervada way but in that..hey sam, it's bedtime way...she also checks my bed in the morning to make sure i came home the night before which I almost always do but still, its cute that she's worried. She talks like a slow five year old sometimes, we like to call her Leo, but it's so damn funny that it doesn't matter that she sounds like we pulled her off the short bus down the street. She makes comments like ive never heard and looks at you dead seriously with a hint of hope on her face, a hope like maybe you'll get what the hell she just said. it makes me laugh so hard i dont think i would rather listen to anyone else. She only eats luttuce and soup and cereal...kind of like a bunny and sometimes we think she doesnt eat at all cause really yogurt is not dinner..she kicked carbs to the curb sometime last year but still eats honey toast with me when we get drunk and have to come home. She works at the gym and basically is the poster girl for "hey, see that girl at the desk..yeah she works here...no you cant date her and no you will never look that good" sometimes i bring her hazelnut milk cause if she drinks coffee she might die..you know heart palpitations...she likes when i grunt instead of laugh cause she just said so...isnt that cute? We like to sing to total eclipse of the heart..no one should know that...but its the techno version..you know..the hot jam...oh man...ive said too much

Britney Spears is not pretty

2004-12-08T02:09:04Z

I want to run through a field of sunflowers holding hands with some people...listening to Along for the Ride.

I want Adam sans ketchup

I want Bill to stay

I want to make out in a bathroom stall

I want to live in Portland

I want warm mornings to be closer

I want mmmm hmmmm all the time

I want to tell you I love you.

Black Cat Bathrooms Cause a Stir

2004-12-06T01:19:21Z

I think I totally pulled a Tahnee...this whole thing is so flipped...so skewed....so funny...but just that awsome. I've been thinking about this all day. Staring off and trying to figure out what is real.

One for Sam

PS- I think Adam is my favorite guy in the whole world.

Little Kid Games in Big Kid Places

2004-12-02T22:29:48Z

HOT! Hot hot hot hot HOT.

One hell of a party kids...one hell of a party.

Dude...you're my MANAGER seemed to be one of the themes of the evening.

We fell on the street too but that wasn't my fault.

I still miss warm morning cause this one just wasn't the same. I get to see you though when it's still this month and then again when its still that one. I love CA...and LA but they're different. Haha that one is confusing...I need to tell my mom about new year's...she's going to hate me...hate me hate me hate me. but you know it's worth it.

Mmmmm Hmmmm

2004-11-29T18:07:51Z

Imagine the most cleansing, wonderful, relaxing deep breath you could take. No imagine it hurting just as much as it feels good. That's how I feel. Crying all the way to Nordhoff was the happiest cry I have ever had. I had something to cry about but I had to leave it.

I miss warm mornings with warm breaths and kisses. It really is mmm hmmm all the time and I miss it.

One down, YOU to go

2004-11-11T05:19:19Z

What a silly thing that is going on, its like that time, last year when it was all heart.beats.and.no.sleep. and now the phone rings and its mmmm hmmm all the time and as I hang up this world surrounds me into nausea and frustration with red faces and.HOT. My fingers shake along with my hands as I try to write to anyone and the pen simply slides out of my hand to hush itself out of the same fear and frustration. My stomach is empty and I have become brutal. But you.you.you. are the only one that keeps me here, that keep me sane and keeps me wondering. She said at least, referring to you and I was mad because you were never at least. And as I count down the days on my fingers and toes I don't know what I will return to. I.can't.write.to.anyone because anyone has turned into shaking frustration. Undying.passion.lack.of.compassion. But just think about the short weeks. that are practically gone. and you are practically here. it wont matter, for those moments, those days, what i have to come back to. It.will.be.our.reality.

Grown ups never stay friends with kids.

imherchicken @ 2004-11-04T21:09:00

2004-11-05T02:09:23Z

I'm about to go out with Mike...interesting. I bought red shoes today.

I did school today. Sort of. Tomorrow I will do more school. I hope.

imherchicken @ 2004-11-01T09:41:00

2004-11-01T14:45:52Z

Life is sweet.

I'm so tired but so awake. So many toxins. I love toxins.

I think Thanksgiving will be full of toxins. Toxins and books and puzzles and happy. I can't wait. I might as well just stop school now cause I won't be able to concentrate till I get there.

Last night was fantastic. I had a lot of heart to hearts. A lot of keys to nose. There were break dancers and beatiful people. Kisses and cigarettes. Japanese fruit.

It's the one night a year where you can be somebody else

2004-10-27T14:21:33Z

I am going to be Peter Pan
Em in Tink
Sue is Minnie Mouse

and after much discussion into the weeeee hourse of the morning:

Laura is Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction

I just love Halloween

I go to CA in less than a month and I can hardly contain my little self. It's going to be great to do puzzles and drink hot chocolate and read kids books and watch The Wizard and maybe Fern Gully just for old time sake cause really you should have been Krista.

I got 3.5 hours of sleep last night...woo woo woo...its becoming a trend..but i'll give it up for the good cause. I think i will take a nap while my clothes dry.

Oh, P.S.- Today is Sue's bday...that's cute.

imherchicken @ 2004-10-25T14:24:00

2004-10-25T18:28:41Z

I got a wonderful bag of Sour Patch Kids today...it was mostly green and red. I was so happy.

This weekend was the most fun I've had in a while. Sex.Drugs.Hip Hop.

De La Soul was awsome and so was the company.

It was nice to have a boyfriend for the weekend. We had a leaf fight and tourists said awww. We dressed up and ate expensive food and walked around this district for six hours on a hunt for wine glasses. We found them. We drank four bottles of wine with people we like and missed the people that werent here. We didn't sleep much all weekend but really had a blast the whole time. It was a nice change of pace.

Now back to normalcy. I'm about to go to work. Today I ate a Caramel Macchiato, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Red Bull, Sour Patch Kids, Pudding, Vivarin, and cigarettes. Sam's my name, heathy is my game

Eighth Grade came and went

2004-10-20T16:07:49Z

Sticky lips and starry eyes

and I wonder how you could still see me five years ago, long haired and more innocent that I knew.

What a whirl wind

of emotion

of realization

Everytime she sneezes I believe it's love

imherchicken @ 2004-10-10T13:20:00

2004-10-10T17:27:29Z

I got a ticket for under-age drinking. In Germantown. I spent two hours at 7-11 alone at 2am. In Germantown. I slept at some random boy's house. In Germantown. What a night.

I worked until 1:30am last night. We weren't even close to being done. I threw up four times.

I have to go back there right now.

It's so silly the tone of your voice on the phone. One minute up the next minute down and I can't help but wonder if you are happy. But one day you will be and you will be the subject of each perfection with every breath of the shutter. But I still can't help but wonder who walks in your dreams, in your future, and who sleeps next to you inhaling your dreams foolishly thinking they are a match.

imherchicken @ 2004-10-05T17:31:00

2004-10-05T21:31:13Z

Conscious non-obsession.

imherchicken @ 2004-10-04T18:19:00

2004-10-04T22:19:39Z

coffe
cigarettes
tic tacs
red bull

coffe
cigarettes
tic tacs
red bull

coffe
cigarettes
tic tacs
red bull

imherchicken @ 2004-10-02T20:01:00

2004-10-03T00:07:03Z

I'm not sure if I remember that tone in your voice. I'm not sure if I remember when you were the vulnerable one. I wonder if your heart was beating as fast as mine, if you were nervous. You say you don't care, you do, or you wouldn't have called. It's funny because I don't expect you anymore, but there are certain times, certains songs....where all I can see is your face..how it used to be fades into how it is but it is all beautiful. The part of the road we are driving now is no less wheathered than it used to be, we've just learned how to drive it. I haven't gone yet..why would I choose now?

A few years overdue.

2004-09-28T18:21:34Z

So tired but so worth it. There are different levels of sucking at life and I have only achieved a few. I shouldn't go out on Monday nights right? But then if I am in a perpetual state of wonder and imagination, a state in which my mind is happily occupied with make believe and reality alike, it's not that big of a deal. If you think about it. I can use the word kissed-ish and say there was definately someting and I wasn't the only one who saw it but maybe the only that felt it but only tomorrow will tell I think. That is if the tomorrow I have created in this mind of mine become a reality in more minds than mine.

It's only intense in my head, I swear.